A 15 year gap….you must be mad?!

Do you know if I’d been given a pound for every time I’d heard that phrase, or similar, in the last 6 months I’d be very well off by now! 15 days ago I became a mum again for the second time. My son is the greatest Christmas present that my husband and I could have asked for.

This pregnancy I have become very aware of how much our society likes to label and pigeon hole people.

15 years ago, when I chose to have my first son, I was labelled a young mum.I was put into the special care group so I saw the health visitor from much earlier on in pregnancy, and I was offered support they mainly offered to teenage mum’s in the area.

This time I ticked other boxes.I’m an older mum. I’m a second time mum, I’m a mature mum, I’m brave, I’m crazy, and the list goes on. Every time I met a new midwife they would ask “How old is your little one?” And would then make a comment like “oh not so little then” when I said he’s 15. I know to some people it is a big gap, and isn’t necessarily the life choice they would have made, but they don’t stop and think about whether there is a bigger picture to consider.

What I have realised is that being an older mum isn’t easier or harder in general terms, it is different. But it is different for lots of reasons. It’s different because I have a second child to consider. It is different because my life situation is different. Different hospital. Different home. Different life from 15 years ago.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The way my life has unfolded over the last 15+ years I know I couldn’t have had another baby. Life would have been so different to how it has been for many reasons. 

This blog is going to be some of my parenting reflections. Parenting a new born and a teenager! Both challenges in their own rights and together. Balancing the needs of my two boys, my husband, and me. I don’t claim I will have all the answers or that I will get it right, but I will be honest!

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2 thoughts on “A 15 year gap….you must be mad?!”

  1. I don’t think it is crazy or odd, in any way at all.
    I think there are many benefits to a big age gap. You will have a wonderful babysitter in a few years! There will be no jealousy or competiveness!
    Luc will grow up with an older brother to look up to.
    I think it’s lovely !!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We have the big age gap, although in a slightly different situation. Hannah adores her big sibs. Does she copy some of their less desirable behaviours? Yes. Does she miss out on having a smaller person to play with? Yes. Does she sometimes drive them to distraction when all they want to do is stare at screens? Yes! But all human relationships work in different ways, all have their challenges, and all are wonderful in their uniqueness. Love to you all. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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