How many allergies?? Not sure but I hate them all!

So in my family there is a bit of an allergy history….quite a big bit. But I’ve been lucky. My allergies are pretty minimal, I only have 1 severe allergy, and a couple of bad intolerances. My eldest son has a dairy allergy/ intolerance (they keep changing the boundaries and terminology) which means even at 15 he still has to restrict the amount of dairy he consumes. But that is manageable. 

So I wasn’t too surprised when at 3 weeks old our baby started reacting to cows milk. I then cut all dairy from my diet and the baby was much happier. Unfortunately due to the baby being ill, we had to start introducing bottles. We started with lactose free milk, and within seconds of finishing a bottle, he would bring back milk like when a drill hits oil! He wasn’t gaining weight as they expected him to. The gp prescribed him Nutramigen, a formula that it’s a very broken down version of cows milk. We saw an improvement to the amount of milk he managed to retain, and his weight gain increased a bit. After 3 weeks his formula had to be changed due to a production issue. He was put on Neocate. A formula that has no cows milk in at all. Just amino and fatty acids. Wow! What a difference! All his milk stayed in after a feed! And his weight soared! 

I can deal with a Cows Milk Protein Allergy (CMPA). Everything we eat at home is dairy free anyway. But the allergies haven’t stopped there.

So far we’ve identified at least another 3! We thought the baby had his first cold. But it never seemed to stop. His nose was permanently full of gunk. We then noticed whenever we went out his eyes would get all red and puffy and he would be scratching at them. Overnight his struggle to breathe got so bad he would stop for a couple of seconds before starting again. Scary as a parent.

The gp diagnosed hay fever, and he now has to take piriton daily, and his breathing can still be a struggle. At night we now have to keep our Windows closed, we have a fan with a hepa filter to clean the air, we have a vapouriser on, the crib mattress is propped up and we have to use nasal drops on him during the night. The doctors are reluctant to prescribe more till we see the allergy clinic. My nights are constantly disturbed due to listening to him breathing and hearing when he needs more nasal drops or other help. 

Ok so CMPA plus hay fever, I could deal with that. He had slightly dry skin so started using bath and body wash products that were meant to be good for eczema and sensitive skin. He reacted to it on contact! A red rash appeared all over his skin. Hmmm back to the very expensive stuff then. And another allergen to add to the list. 

3 allergens, I could cope with that. Then, last week, sitting holding our baby asleep on me I noticed wherever his skin was touching my top he was coming up in an angry red rash. By the time we got home his back was so sore and angry. I put him straight in the bath, and we think he was reacting to the fabric conditioner we were using. We’ve stopped using it instantly, but as I realised yesterday when he flared up again, all of our clothes need to be rewashed. 

It’s a challenge daily. The portion reduces the hay fever reaction but hasn’t eliminated it. Daily he can come home from just walking to the shops with red, puffy and itchy eyes. We’re having to reintroduce scratch mittens to stop him scratching himself at night.

As his mum it is exhausting. Although he is “asleep” for between 10 and 11 hours each night, it’s not deep unbroken sleep for him or me. At times I find it frustrating as I don’t know what he’s reacting to, especially when he has a contract reaction. I’m grateful for the nhs, but get frustrated by it too. Waiting for referrals and appointments, and feeling like we’re constantly at the gp. 

I know I’m not the only allergy parent. And I know that some parents have it far worse. I’m grateful for the online support I get from some forums, and from a couple of friends who lives miles away but understand my struggles. But it isn’t easy. 

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The beautiful parenting bubble goes pop!

When you are planning a family you have your dreams, your ideals, your perfect scenario.

  • The perfect gap between children – I’d wanted 2 years between mine
  • The perfect family set up – 2.4 kids, nice home, be around to support your children as they grow
  • The perfect pregnancy – blooming for 9 months
  • The perfect labour –
  • When your child is born the perfect baby – follows routine, eats well, sleeps well, meets development stages full on
  • You go out each day doing all the perfect mummy things with a perfect outfit, make up and hair

Hmmmm…..the reality is miles away from this.

I will hold my hands up and say that my dreams, even the second time around, were up there. Maybe I should have known better. Maybe some of my memories from 15 years ago had faded and gathered a rose shaded tint over time. But also I know I was lucky the first time around, I had a baby that slept well, was healthy and incredibly placid as long as the milk came on time!

This time, I am holding my hands up and saying yes I have been struggling. My perfect bubble has definitely gone pop…in fact it was a very loud BANG!

3 hours of uninterrupted sleep is now a luxury. The few nights that have been longer than this we can now see have been more linked to when he’s been on antibiotics. An achievement at the moment is being out of bed in the morning and showered before my husband leaves for work….if I don’t do it then, then it won’t happen till he is home in the evening. Getting dressed in something that is clean and reasonably appropriate for the weather is about all I manage. If I’ve had a reasonable amount of sleep, then the hair dryer might get out, and I might find my way to putting make up on. But that is certainly not the normal routine. High days and holidays maybe!

I have struggled with almost weekly appointments at either the doctors or the hospital. Having a little boy who isn’t 100% most of the time is tiring. The money spent on hospital parking is just frustrating! Having to constantly explain again and again symptoms to doctors is exhausting, especially when they say that “babies this young don’t get recurrent infections like this”. Each week I have to also remember to order the next weeks supply of formula. I have a baby who is even more allergic to dairy than his older brother and his formula has to be prescribed. Its not like I can ┬ájust go and buy some formula when we get low, and more often than not the pharmacy have to order it in. I even had to justify why I needed twice as much, to cover us going away and the bank holidays!

I look at the house sometimes and just want to cry at all the jobs that need to be done. I hate that in the evenings I am snappy at my husband and teenager because I am so tired and just need some head space. Going to be at 9pm is not my ideal, honestly!

Yes this is the reality. I wouldn’t be without my baby for anything. I’ll even consider having another in the not too distant future (not the next 18 months, but not another 15 years!) The reality is I find day to day tough. Some days are better than others. Some days I actually don’t feel tired at all. Other days I feel like going back to bed at 9am.

This blog isn’t for sympathy. I guess it’s for a normal perspective for people who want to read it. It’s also my way of processing and dealing with the challenges, and maybe just showing the world that parenting isn’t this beautiful bubble the is painted in the media.

This morning on Good Morning Britain, there was a wonderful slot showing the reality of normal parenting (watch here) and my friend Laura reminded me that life as a parent can be a juggling act, and I only have to juggle 2 children!